I used to think that I couldn’t love myself until I had achieved all the things I wanted. Until I looked the best I could, until I was “perfect”. It sounds crazing saying that out loud now, but I truly believed it at one stage in my life. I wasn’t beautiful enough, thin enough, smart enough. I needed to change so much, so I couldn’t possibly love myself right!
When did we decide you could only love something once it was “perfect”. Love and change can live side by side; in fact they have to. The more I love myself, the more I feel beautiful, the more I appear beautiful, the more I do beautiful things. The more I love myself, the more I take better care of myself. The more I love myself, the more I invest in myself to be smart, to be healthy, to strive for my ideals. And that certainly involves change.
So you can love yourself and want to change yourself at the same time. We are always growing and changing. Why am I talking about this? Well as a holistic beauty therapist I see the focus on outward change often not coming from a place of love. I see it in the pointing out of individual ”flaws” and the obsession that surrounds them – I see it in the search for the quick fix.
When you come from a place of love you look at yourself as a whole, with many parts that are all connected. You realise that the blemishes, the wrinkles or the extra rolls do not make you unloveable. You realise those things are all a part of you and the choices you make. And in fact through loving those parts of you, you have the power to change them in a gentle and sustainable way. Or perhaps through loving them they suddenly they won’t be as noticeable anymore.